Day 34 : Everchanging

In the face of change
Is when she turned to me and said,
"I'm not sure anymore..."

And now, amidst the waves and the cloudless skies
that'd blanket the year before,
I watch my life wash ashore.

Have you ever been a part of something
That you thought would never end,
And then of course it did?
Have you ever felt the weight inside you,
Pulling away inside your skin,
And then something had to give?

Now the lines are drawn,
Is this feeling gone?
The best parts of this have come and gone.
And now there is all this is.
With the reasons clear,
We'll spend another year
Without direction, full of fear,
But now things will be different.

There's nothing simple when it comes to you and I,
There's always something in this everchanging life,
And there probably always will.
Now that time is getting harder to come by,
The same arguments are always on our mind.
We've killed this slowly fading light.

Now the lines are drawn,Is this feeling gone?
The best parts of this have come and gone.
And now there is all this is.
With the reasons clear,
We'll spend another year
Without direction, full of fear,
But now things will be different.

Now something has kept me here too long
And you can't leave me If I'm already gone.
That says that something
Has kept me here too long
And you can't leave me
If I'm already gone.

Now that we
Make the same mistakes,
we're always hanging on.
Break those promises we're always leaning on.
All this time spent waking up.
I keep this line open to get this call from you
Speak the words
That keep me coming back to you.
Now this time it's all different.

Now something has kept me here too long
And now I'm gone...

Listen to this:
1) Rise Against - Everchanging
2) Rise Against - Roadside
3) Adibah Noor - Terlalu Istimewa
4) Rise Against - Swing Life Away
5) Rise Against - Give It All

Stay beautiful Kuching. Live every dream.

Day 33 : To The Brothers I Never Had

And then I see your face,
Memories of my falls and my rise,
You’ve always been in every moment,
And I wouldn’t know where I’d be without you.

For the times I’ve done you wrong,
For the times I’ve let you down,
For the times I wasn’t there,
Forgive me, brother.

In my heart you remain,
As a brother till the end of time,
And though we’re meant to lead separate lives,
Know I hold the Faith and the Family close.

For the times we’ll be apart,
For the times we live astray,
For the times we’re giving up,
We have each other.

We’ve been fighting in the forefront,
For the longest I’ve known,
Our faith though tainted remains strong,
And may it be for all time…

For the times we'll be apart,
For the times we live astray,
For the times we're giving up,
We are Family.

Day 32 : Racing Heart. Shivering Body. Clouding Thoughts.

It's one of those nights, where dreams are thought to be perfect and to brought to life.
It's one of those nights, where you close your eyes knowing the person you long to see, the person you long to be with, is right next to you...safe and sound.

I came across this song by Naff - Masih Kekasihku. The chorus went;

'Jauh di lubuk hatiku,
Masih terukir namamu,
Jauh di dasar jiwaku,
Engkau masih kekasihku'

Translated it means;

'Deep within my heart,
Your name's engraved,
Deep within my soul,
You're still my love'

Recently I have been graced with the greatest of times, my mates around, and more importantly the moments I am allowed to enjoy life. It's perfect. But this heart still wants more. It's as though an endless pit draws anything and everything that comes near it. It feels as though nothing can quench it's thirst. And the only thing I open my eyes to is knowing when I fall asleep, it's there.

And then knowing I'll be seeing her again causes;
1) The Racing Heart.
2) The Shivering Body.
3) The Clouding Thoughts.

'Take it easy,' I'm told. I FUCKING can't.

It's this time round, this final moment I've been allowed to clear all there is to clear. The pressure's on. The thoughts are endless. The emotions wavering. The temptations linger. The heart beats for 1.

My track record when it comes to holding true, has been tarnished and tainted by my bitter past. I can't have any regrets that I know, but one thing for sure, I wouldn't have done the things or said the words and not meant even one of them. For I know now the peril, and torment of being in love. To have someone change her msn address just to avoid you and you still fucking know that the person you want to be with the most is her; leaves me speechless. No words can ever describe the feelings of such. No words can come close to how the suffering taunts negativity.

I've kept it locked away by turning to the constant, work. It has come back time after time...

I don't know the repercussions of things to come, nor would I have the SOLID game plan. All I know is that if I don't get this out of the way, they'll be more posts similar to this.

........................to be continued

Listen to this:
1) Naff - Masih Kekasihku
2) Playground - Soul Mate
3) Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland - Say It Right
4) Beyonce - Irreplaceable
5) The All American Rejects - It Ends Tonight

Stay beautiful Kuching. Live every dream.