Day 50 : Home is where the heart is.

With this final post, i end this chapter of my life. The one where darkness took control over a life that was meant to be beautiful, lively, compassionate, selfless and more importantly God-loving.

I've learnt the most important thing in my life to date:-

"You can't have both roots and wings."

Goodbye.

Day 49 : I wish this could last forever

A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me wanna run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But,love remains the same

I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play

We could have had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

I, oh I, I wish this could last forever
I, oh I, as if this could last forever
Love remains the same
Love remains the same

Stay beautiful Kuching. Live every dream.

Day 48 : One Night Only

Often do we find ourselves having trouble with life, and often do we find ourselves complaining. This post relates to the happiness that still exists, that dreams and wishes do come true. Last weekend provided for me and the basement crew, as well as the mates in Kuching a fabolous night.

Time that reminded us of the many other times.

We talked, we laughed, we sang and we cried. To me, the highlight and peak of this whole weekend was when Ake strummed "Why" and Su blew us away by her vocals.

I was reminded of the past instantaneously. Those days where we sat in the basement, with a beer in one hand and a compromised cigarette in the other, listening to music played from the heart. Music played to ease the pain; music to inspire.

I've waited 2 1/2 years for the moment that I could hear "Why" one more time. All the longing and waiting was well worth the wait.

The weekend made me realise that though time has passed us, there was once a period in time, where individuals came together over beers, talked, played music and weathered through the stormy weather and sunny skies. That at one point in time, where I was wading through the darkness, there were people who stood by me and walked with me. That now, when reality kicks in, I can still reminisce together with them.

Lau, Tong, Boon, Ake, G and Su. Thank you for the amazing weekend. Thank you for reminding me once more.

Though for one night only, just know this weekend lives forever in my memory.

Stay beautiful Kuching. Live every dream.

Day 47 : Dream Catch Me

I was honoured to meet Yoke Mei last weekend. In that light, my thoughts I pen down below.

It was first your eyes that caught me,
Those eyes that would pierce the soul of a man and yet,
eyes that could calm a storm.

Then it was your laugh that drawed me near,
Starting lightly, softer than a summer's breeze; sweet,
Uplifting.

Came the conversations that made me believe again.
Conversations that brought perspective, and conversations that carried honesty with them and more importantly, conversations that made the difference.

Then it was full blown when you held Ryan, leaving me awed.
The way you care for him, provoked within me a different level of responsibility,
And it showed me how amazing you are.
Amidst the painful past and trying times, you've become a beacon of light to me.

I thank God that I have friends who actually saw you'll make a difference for the better.
I thank God that I had to go through everything in my life, meeting you made it all worthwhile.
I thank God we're friends.
And I would thank your mother for giving birth to you, if it's okay with you.

My dreams caught me when I met you.

Listen to this:
1) Newton Faulkner - Dream Catch Me
2) Rihanna - Take A Bow
3) One Republic - Stop & Stare
4) Click Five - Empty
5) The Basement Crew - Why

Stay beautiful Kuching. Live every dream.

Day 46 : Random Notes

I'm done crying my heart out wishing you were here with me.
I'm done holding on to the painful past.
I'm done hanging on to all these baseles thoughts.
I'm done loving you knowing I'm just another one of those guys you knew.
I'm done wishing those lips would stay mine forever.
I'm done dreaming of those times we would see ourselves old and grey.
I'm done wanting you to be the mother of our children.
I'm done feeling jaded.
I'm done lamenting the mistakes I thought made the difference.
I'm done grasping for you like how I do each and every breath.
I'm done cradling your painful moments and making them my own.
I'm done missing you.

Listen to this:
1) Kelly Clarkson - Sober
2) Sheila on 7 - Dan
3) The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel
4) Secondhand Serenade - Your Call
5) Colbie Caillat - Bubbly

Stay beautiful Kuching. Live every dream.

Day 45 : Goodbye My Almost Lover

So Ho told me about this song...and I think it really applies to a few souls that I know. Haven't been active with them posts and all due to the travelling nature of my job. Bangkok was amazing, would update when it seems fit. Back to the song, it's called 'Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy'. Below are the lyrics and I hope you guys can come to understand it the way I do. =D

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, ever forget
These images
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean I
cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Day 44 : You

You...

When I think of you, so many emotions run through my mind.

When I don't hear from you, so many concerns tear at me.

Like a mighty waterfall, fierce and thundering a deafening roar - spray enveloping everything around. So am I surrounded by you.

Like a babbling brook, slipping quietly over pebbles gently flowing, gurgling. Such is the peace you give to me.
Like a gentle breeze, cooling a heated brow caressing fevered skin. So you calm my heart.

Like a summer sky, glimmering sun warming the earth shining its light around. So you warm my soul.

Like the birds in the trees, singing their happy songs for all to hear. So your voice cheers me.

Like a rose, petals opening to release it's fragrance. So your smile thrills me.

Like a precious gem, glowing, polished, rare admired by all who see it. So your eyes inspire me.

Like the summer grasses, waving gently in the breeze inviting, fragrant, soft. So you hair invites my touch.

Like a rare parchment, fine and smooth to touch finely woven, a work of art. So your skin delights me.

Like the pulse of Africa, ever present, powerful a phenomenon unseen. So your heart attracts me.

Everything you are
Everything you do
Each act of kindness
Each look
Each touch
Every smile
Every word
All combine to make me love you more each day.

Listen to this:
1) Enrique Iglesias - Do You Know
2) Zhang Xue You - Wang Le Ku
3) Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone
4) Goo Goo Dolls - Before It's Too Late
5) Dashboard Confessionals - Don't Wait

Stay beautiful Kuching. Live every dream.

Day 43 : Broken

Lifehouse - Broken

The Broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still breatingIn the pain
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beatingIn the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning

So I'm holding on
Barely holding on to you
Barely holding on to you

Listen to this:
1) Lifehouse - Disarray
2) Lifehouse - First Time
3) Lifehouse - Whatever It Takes
4) Lifehouse - Who We Are
5) Lifehouse - Broken

Stay beautiful Kuching. Live every dream.