Day 22 1/2 : The Reciprocated Love

If one had actually perused through my profile under 'the friendster' page, one might have come across my personal section of 'Who I Want To Meet'. Here's what I had to say:

- .the angel in disguise.the comfortable silence.the flawless ways.the defining moments.the inspirational encouter.the thoughtless words.the criminal actions.the perfect moments.the beautiful face.the despaired soul.the exploding smile.the pure heart.the humbled mind.the winning ways.the outrageous emotions.the outbursting laughter.the priceless possession.the unplesant sights.the complimenting music.the endless drama.the favourite drink.the dream come true.the morning face.the nocturnal darkness.the blinding light.the guiding star.the out-reaching hand.the stroke of fate.the serendipitous collision.the understanding one.the careless whisper.the falling stardust.the radiant rain.the stormy seas.the appeasing touch.the obscuring variations.the delirious character.the renewing sublimation.the rainbow's end.the eternal bond.the sparkling eyes.the limber caress.the clearing skies.the bona fide nature.the reciprocated love. -

Innit a fucking long list? It's all the compounded moments put together, all good and bad. It's what I desire most. And the last of it, entitled above, has never been the case. I personally feel that at times, I am an EDS (emo-dump-site), and without having that reciprocated; what more to can I utter a word about love? Am I being too nice? Am I being not the rascal enough? Bad boys tend to attract good girls. Issue-packed chicks tend to attract good boys. And I'm smacked right in the middle of the whole debacle. Bullocks ~ There so many and yet I only need 1. There are too many and yet I am lost in between reality and dreams. And where is she? How in the world am I to meet her when I don't even get a chance in allowing her my very best? The most intriguing part about all this, is that people are cheating on their spouses, their partners in life. (Please note that in the instance of looking, there is no harm done. Applicable to both sexes.)

For the longest time that my heart could remember,
All I could ever want was to belong.
For the darkest nights of turmoil and unending pain,
All I would only know was the sorrow.
Empty promises I've ever made,
Makes me the delirious character;
Another soul torn between my dreams,
Find my efforst nothing more that a mere stream.
Now I am but a man; only longing, still trying in attaining.
Now I am known for my ways of nothing, merely dreaming.
All this I brought upon myself, all this I carry with myself.
I write knowing the emptiness life is without love.
And my ways of living has taught me all that is planned comes from above.
That was when I saw 1 litre of tears,
and taught myself to fight my fears.
That what when I chose not to run,
And I learned to sing a song to the sun.
That was when I came across you.
My acts might not possibly come true,
And though this heart has been clouded before,
Though many have seen my tears pour,
Your smile wipes all of it away.
Your laughter clears the dark skies.
I have no idea of who you are or how you are.
And I can't possibly imagine you and I at par.
But I long to be able onday,
And when looking in your eyes, say,
That, "It's nice. Really nice to meet you finally."
That, "It's probably an infatuation but I admire you truly."
Because life is so short and we only have one to live,
Though it will be tedious and tought but for you, I'll try for all I'll give.
So thank you.
Thank you for showing me how life can be so beautiful.
For through you I see the marvel of God in His definition of beautiful.
Thank you for smiling.
Thank you for laughing.
Thank you for singing.
Thank you for crying.
Thank you for acting.
Thank you for your time.
And most of all thank you for being you.

If a life is without dreams, what point is there to that life?
If a life is without love, what happiness is there to speak of?
Yume wa anatawa.

Listen to this:
1) Joshua Radin - Someone Else's Life
2) Alanis Morrisette - Perfect
3) Brandy - Have You Ever?
4) Power Station - Na Ciu Che Yang Ba
5) Michael Buble - Home

Stay beautiful Kuching. Live every dream.